INDIVIDUAL LIVING VS VALIDATED EXISTENCE

I see magic in people. I see magic in the artists that I admire. I see an endless potential for greatness. It’s my choice to see that in them, even when they aren’t willing to see it themselves ~ Anonymous

I might end up giving a million words; trying to describe this wonderful human …I might come close to feeling we think alike, but that would be me being human again. I just don’t think I have ever faulted any of her various ability to perform and express.

In all; Okorie Marie has being and would always be a strong allie and to Celona’s blog,  …see what she has to say to us;

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INDIVIDUAL LIVING VS VALIDATED EXISTENCE ~ Marie Okorie

When I began writing , I didn’t know what I was doing. I was ashamed to tell people, ‘hey I love poetry’.

I mean it was difficult for students to love literature as a whole let alone to take out a branch of it and love.

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Back then, when I wrote, I’d hide it for fear of being laughed at. Somehow, along the line, what I wrote would be lost.

I penned down my first piece in 2004. I got a book to put down my poems. I wanted the whole world to see but I was still scared. I continued to write in my book and hide, showing it only to a select few who showed interest in my writing.

Fast forward to 2013, I decided to start my blog.

I remember the first day I put my first post. I was worried. Not scared, worried. I wondered if it would be liked. Where my words too ambiguous? Was the rhyme nice (I hate to rhyme). Did it have a good flow? I battled with these thoughts as I waited for the response or comments.
Jeez, it was you know….bleeehhhhh. lol. Then I was scared. Would I be accepted as a poet? As a writer? Would people see me as a person struck by passion and not frustration?
Did people; Nigerians appreciate poetry? Were the posts terrible? I asked myself these questions and I answered them.
It was difficult telling people I was a writer and worse that I wrote poetry. There was this stare. This ‘shey this one knows what she’s doing with her life’ stare.
Somehow, somehow sha, I didn’t let it stop me. I put another one in the blog and another and another and another (I know my another is becoming too much. I’m trying to prove a point jor)
I had every reason to stop believing in myself and I didn’t but that doesn’t mean I didn’t go through some kind of frustration.

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You see, I never felt I was good enough. I never felt I was talented enough and I struggled with these fears looking constantly for validation from others.

Then I remembered a person telling me how for the need to be happy, I have to create my own happiness.

What?! Why wasn’t I told this sooner?’

I began, slowly and gradually to see myself in the better view. It has not been easy in all honesty but I have learnt that only I can walk on the road that has the trophy I can see and so each day, one step at a time, I walk.

A lot of times we allow the need to be accepted disrupt our journey to becoming amazing and great humans and once these disruptions set in, we become stuck and then we lose focus and then we stop believing in ourselves and we let go.

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What do we live for?

What do you live for?

I like to think or believe that too often, we all fail to recognize and appreciate the individual in ourselves but instead feed the individual that society, family, friends want us to be.

Stop for a second.

Breathe.

Look within you.

Do you see how amazing you are?

Do you realize how talented and gifted you are?

Do you know the ability that you carry inside of you?

It hurts when I see people of great talents and skill just let it go. What then is the life? Of what use is a life not lived? Of what use is a life not utilized? What is living to you? What does life mean to you?

Stop again for a second.

Breathe.

Are you living?

Or do you exist?

Do you wait for validation and acceptance from others?

Do you need people’s go ahead to really go ahead?

I get this. (Been there, done that (roll your eyes all you want)) I worried if people would relate to my writings.

I looked at other people’s works and I wanted to know what they did. I wanted to be different but I didn’t know how. For a while, I tried to be like others. It was a very frustrating process but I learnt. I learnt that I am my own best friend and worst enemy and so only I can, and will be able to tell myself the truth.

I was not the same with the other person. I had to be. I had to create my own brand.

First I had to accept I was different and it was ok to be.

Next was to define my ‘different’ and own it. I knew I was not going to be ashamed or afraid of being me so I took center stage of my life and began to define my being different. Now I live with the fact that I am me, no one else. I am like no other and it has made all the difference in the way I speak, in the way I see people, in the way I walk( don’t say anything if you have known me for more than 10 years) and in the way I think most importantly. I am my own brand.

I keep telling people I am constant work In progress so don’t come expecting to see a finished product. but be rest assured that you’d see a girl who is constantly trying to be better than she was the last minute and the best art of it is, I do it for no one except for me and my God because you see, when you allow the purpose of God to gradually take shape in your life, you’ll gradually begin to live in accordance with his plan because you have let him lead and take center stage in your life. And so the only concern or worry you’ll have is if people can, through you, find the redemption that they seek.

 

It’s just a life that we have got and God has been so kind to provide us with endless possibilities and endless opportunities.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Are you going to let you go to waste?

would you accept that your being different is the only way to get your validation (because once people realize that you have no intention of being another person ,they will have no choice but to pay attention to what you are doing).

In a country where we all complain that everything has gone bad, isn’t it funny to see people grow against all odds.

So what’s your excuse?

There’s no need competing with others if you are trying to prove your worth. Unhealthy competition is one of the fastest ways to go down because take it or leave it, you miss the whole point. You lose focus and you lose yourself in all of it because the goal has changed and so has focus. So what is the point?

We all are different and in as much as we like to think otherwise, there are people who are more talented and gifted than we are. Focus on you. Focus on being the best version of yourself. Focus on living. When it is all said and done, no one will remember that there’s someone out there better than you. Your life, your principles and the outcome of your being able to function as a different individual will set you apart and you will not be compared to another because you lived as YOU.

We begin a new year in a couple of days. Take time out; an hour, a day, or a couple of minutes and think. Find your rhythm and learn the music of your soul. Sooner than later, you’ll perfect your dance steps and you’ll walk through life with ease, handling every situation that life presents to you.

Someone once told me, you cannot force people to see you the way you are, you influence them but only if you emit the right vibes.

In one of my most recent poems I wrote,

The need to be
for someone else
is exhausting.
We co-exist instead.
You and me.
We would be free.

In this New Year, do not exist, please live.

*WRITTEN AND EDITED BY MARIE OKORIE*

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